Wow, this small letter from Joseph Smith III is estimated to be worth $950! Sweet!
Yes, I am still here, and I am in the process of adding handwritten pages and notes of my own that I wrote whilst studying the claims made against Joseph Smith Junior that he was involved with polygamy. My journals will evidence my intrepid tiptoeing beginning, where I was almost too afraid to even research at all, for fear of offending God, or the Church or my LDS friends but then my love of truth and my understanding of Heavenly Father helped me overcome.
I wanted to know for myself! How could I teach others what I believed in, if there were elements of my faith that I had not prayed about. I needed to be prepared for the future, as to what to teach my children. I had been raised in the Church or rather, Chinese Whispers at Church that polygamy would come back into the Church once the law of the land allowed for it, and that God would have us live polygamy. Well, as I did not have a testimony of Joseph Smith having taught this principle, but having been in the Church since the age of 15, I kind of had been brainwashed that we just had to accept it, it was inevitable and no need to pray to God about it as it was fact. Nothing more to be said except that the women of the Church would all be expected to share their soulmate with another woman. So much for soulmates eh!
But, with a patriarchal blessings almost giving me permission to search out for the truth of all things, I plucked up the courage to finally do a prayer-checklist on my beliefs. I didn't really want God to give me all the ins and outs of nitty gritty laws that I really didn't want to live, but loving God, I trusted He knew best and after a couple of decades finally put the question to Heaven for confirmation that Polygamy was of Him. And to my amazement, that confirmation was in the contradictory! I wondered how it could possibly be! There seemed so much written about Joseph Smith having more than one wife. Well, with this new found information I knew that if Heavenly Father was telling me that Joseph Smith was monogamous, then I would be blessed to gather up evidence to prove it, and so my research began. I was therefore researching that the revelation I had received was correct.
I was afraid, I was scared at the information I found out because it pulled the rug from beneath me. I had believed a lie so long, and had made the Church an icon to worship, assuming it was God's Church. I was not prepared for what I found out and it left me feeling as a child who discovers that not only are her parents not her biological ones, but that they were not who she thought they were either! Basically, a facade of wonderfulness with a cupboard full of skeletons with the devil in their too!
What am I talking about? Well, have a read yourself, follow my path of discovery, read what I read, read the prayers I asked, the prayers of comfort, the prayers for understanding, the prayers to know and find truth.....
What did I achieve out of all this? Well, it gave me options. It gave me freedom, I was no longer a slave to the Church, for almost three decades I had this shadow over me making me feel not good enough, that I needed to sweat harder, serve relentlessly, sacrifice my own health to take care of others and to tithe everything, my birthday money, gifts, everything. That I would never be perfect enough. I tried sooooo hard in everything I did that I eventually burnt myself out and began to feel suicidal that I did not have the strength .. I obviously lacked faith somehow, because I was getting worn out serving and not taking time out for myself and never saying 'No'.
So, to discover that the PERFECT Church with its PERFECT organization was actually a total lie was incredible to me! The had taught me not to be dishonest, not to lie, not to cheat or steal, or to be greedy or lustful or murderous, and what did I find in church history? All the above!! What hypocrites! Making us feel rubbish, and yet there in the history we find Brigham Young and John Taylor non-tithe payers, we find Brigham Young talking about saving people by putting them to death, we find the leaders such as Brigham Young advocating lust and greed by having several wives to not only lust over but pretend it to be legal to have sex with dozens of women at the same time ie being married to dozens! As if that is not greedy or perverted!!
That was history though, and NO WONDER the Church pretends to be HOLIER THAN THOU in the eyes of the world and our neighbours! They have much to hide. No, I am NOT an ANTI MORMON! I am pro-mormon suffering shock!! The people of this Church are awesome, they are some of the best individuals you might ever meet! And the most awesome families, they have the most loveliest of groups of people attending church ..... they deserve to be told the truth and for the leaders to own up to the past and stop pressurizing us to be so perfect when noone is perfect, especially not this Church since it was hi-jacked by Brigham Young and everyone was rebaptized! Why did they need rebaptizing when they were already baptised by Joseph Smith himself? Makes you wonder!
So, I then discover the Temple ordinances have also been changed so much, and that in the day of Joseph Smith an Endowment meant an enlightening from Heaven, not a secret word or set of actions! So who knows what is of God in the Temple, and what is man-made!
I must admit I have been so taken-aback that I may come across as a bit blunt, but I still love the LDS people and the missionaries, and the teachings which have been refined and back to original teachings, but Brigham Young really did go to town on messing things up for us! If only he had not become so greedy for power and dominion! Anyway, using the power of prayer, and having some select questions to ask, I solomnly prayed for answers and in my journal pages you will see the answers I received about Doctrine and Covenants 132, (which also blew me away!) and the Temple ordinances.
Don't trust me, you can as I believe in honesty, and in being a true saint and follower of Jesus Christ, but as a true saint I must insist that if you are ready, you will be enlightened to know the truth and be led to greater missions, greater uses of your talents by Heaven, or you will be allowed to believe a lie because sometimes the truth is hard for us to bear, and its harmful to know a truth when there is no fallback plan in place. And so, if like me, you wouldn't be able to deal with the truth just yet, it might take you another two decades before you have the guts to enquire about what is truth and what is a lie. In the end, it doesn't REALLY matter, what it boils down to is that we can't lean on the Church for guidance as much as we assumed, and that really, OUR ROCK and our ANCHOR should be and should have always been THE HOLY GHOST and PRAYER, trusting in Heavenly Father to lead us along. I testify that God lives, and that Jesus Christ lives, and that I know with all my heart that angels help us, and that the pleas of our heart are heard, that the Holy Ghost is real, and that no matter if there is a true church upon the earth or not, you are not alone! You really do have guardian angels watching over, and prayer is real.... and that is what I am relying on.
I thought about leaving Church, I attended regularly every week from 1985 until 2007 when I had a small breakdown, then I attended church in 2008 until 2010 regularly, then began finding out that Temple Leaders are not all they seemed to be, then my health took a turn which put me in bed and gave me opportunity to study the Church and its history during the years 2011-2013, in which time I also found out about GM foods, and toxins in many of the products we assume safe to consume, and also discovered that lies are hidden right in front of our eyes and we as people are treated as mugs by governments and leaders all over! That we are in fact just pawns in a world of greedy selfish powerful people set not on our welfare, but on robbing us of all we have and putting us in early graves if possible so that there is more earth left for them to inherit and take over!
If you know what I am talking about, you are on the road to enlightenment, if you haven't a clue, you will either be blessed to slowly have the shackles fall from your eyes, or you will believe I am a raving lunatic (which basically the holier than thou people and the ignorant thought that of both John the Baptist as well as Jesus Christ Himself) and carry on in blissful ignorance under death swallows you slowly or fast as the case may be. I am pretty much indebted to my Heavenly Father (and a son of mine) who allowed the shackles to begin falling from my eyes whilst I was still living this earthly life, I would truly have kicked myself if I got to the other side then found out! I feel pretty sorry for those that have passed on believing things to be perfect .... they will be disappointed! Perhaps it is those same people that have reached out to me, to wake me up! I was in a sleep! I was in a trance! I literally shook with fear at times, worrying so much to please Church and not to step a foot wrong! It seemed so un-natural! Like we were being judged so much harsher that God himself would judge us. The Devil really did over-do things by FORCING us to be perfect so that to the world, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints seemed to really be God's True Church! Satan, you tried too hard! Or perhaps its is called 'Over Compensating' ... perhaps the leaders back in time wanted to bury the truth and they buried it deep underneath new lives of utter perfection!
No I am not a sinner! Yes, I have been, but repentance is there for all. No, I am not perfect, yes, I do have many wonderful beautiful hearted friends in the LDS faith, and to be truthful I haven't added any of my friends to this blog as I haven't the heart to burst their bubble. They are currently still blinded and believe that polygamy is of God, and that in the next life their husbands will take other wives, also that Brigham Young was a prophet of God! They feel it a sin to read the Journal of Discourses, the Church frowns heavily upon anyone that reads literature it hasn't authorized as reading material. We are frowned upon to have friends of other break-off churches from the ORIGINAL church back in 1830. You would think we should be allowed to mix with them, but when interviewed to attend the Temple you are especially asked if you are affiliated with anti-mormons, as those break offs are considered anti-mormon!
If you have reached this far down my blog, you must either be trying to find fault with me, to condemn me, or you know what I am talking about, or literally are so mad at me that you are just reading so you know how to respond to me. Well, I don't blame you. Here I am, a member for 28 years. I shared the gospel with every living soul I came across, dozens of people were baptized from my personal missionary work as a lay member, I gave out dozens of Books of Mormon, I attended the Temple regularly for two decades, The Church was my life, the air I breathed, the words I spoke, the friends I had. It made me a better person, but it also kind of ostrasized my previous family and friends as my standards were so high they didn't want to be around me as they thought that I THOUGHT I was better than them! Church made me judge people, not intentionally, but you were taught that this and that was wrong, and a sin ... and so you looked at everyone in their sinful state and felt sorry for them .... with us trying to save them in their sins. Well, they weren't sinning as badly as we, as we shouldn't have been judging in the first place, just loving!!! If there was more loving going on, many problems would evaporate.
So, yes, I understand your judging me. I thought the Church and its leaders were led of God, and that it was all pure since the days of Joseph Smith, but no. The church slated and slandered them ... Joseph Smith and his wife and children were set up by Brigham Young who led the Church into apostacy! It is good news for us modern day latterday saints that the bad was overturned and good reigned! But the teachings are stained and tainted ... as I say, D&C 132 should not be there, and racism was never part of the church in the days of Joseph Smith .... where is all my evidence? Check out the original newspapers of Joseph Smith's day, check out the original history ... and take your questions to Heavenly Father and let prayer be your gauge. Yes the Church has alot of good in it, and it is probably one of the best gatherings on the bestest people ever and so it oozes with Holy Ghost ... but just because the Holy Ghost testifies of some truths, doesn't mean that everything is true. The holy ghost will not testify a lie as truth, so if you ask you will be able to separate out the truth from the lies, one at a time.
How can you tell WHO is good or WHO is bad? If the BAD decides to CON you into trusting them by telling you truth, how are you to know he is the BAD guy if he is presenting you with truth? The Holy Ghost testifies of truth, it is his job, so you have to be careful how you pray. You have to be specific. You have to tune yourself into God, you do that by learning about Jesus Christ from the Bible, and reading the Book of Mormon, and by being an honest upright human being, ie decent person, no deceit or lies, no dishonesty, no abuse of self or others .... in other words, be someone you would look up to, and be humble too .... the broken hearted and the contrite of spirit apparently have the best communication as suffering brings us closer to God, and more wanting his help, and his advice and instruction. What is really important is to put your fingers in your ears and block out conflicting noise from 'Church people' and let your Spirit tune into Heaven, trusting in yourself, trusting in your nigglings, in your intuition, in your promptings, trusting in your curiousity for truth, for knowledge, trust in your conscience. If you feel right about something, go with it, don't listen to others, follow the Spirit. Be like Nephi! Be like Alma after his conversion! Be in tune!
You will only know truth if you stop trusting ... that is what the conman did.... he taught you enough truths that you checked out via prayer, that you gave up checking with God, because your confidence was gained. You became duped that if everything so far was true, then everything to come was true. And this is where the lies and deceit have crept in under our noses, and gone unchecked with prayer ... how D&C 132 crept into the scriptures and stayed there, well all the rest of Doctrine and Covenants seems to godly and entirely of God, how can we question one addition? It would be mockery eh?
Well, the things you never prayed about, its time to pray about them because things are NOT WELL in ZION!
Thankyou for reading if you got this far :-D Blessed are you! May heaven lead your path into truth, and may you be kept safe. A storm is coming, and we need to be sheltering in HOLY PLACES and led by the Holy Ghost, not by fear of mortal man! I am hoping to find the Truth, and leaders that follow God in truth, that do not deceive us but are open with truth. As latterday saints we are so defensive, for nearly three decades I carried a wounded heart from the things anti-mormons told me, those that tried to knock my faith. I resented them, and I was disgusted by them, but now I look back, they were right all along! They were just trying to tell me as it was, but they didn't have all the facts .. for instance Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, it was Brigham Young that changed things, and so Joseph is slandered incorrectly, but the Church carries the stigma of the teachings of Brigham Young and the world or the Christian world has been warned against joining with the LDS! Unless like me, you knew nothing about its history. Every church has corrupt history, the LDS Church is no different, and as I said, its one of the best churches ever, i recommend the whole entire world being a member, but it would be more perfect if the untruths were ditched and we could live in peace and harmony with the Holy Ghost, being led by righteous leaders without guile! We are led by guile unfortunately though.
You have read my rant, you have wondered about it, now its time for you to begin your research, your journey .... what does the Spirit tell you? What feels right to you? If polygamy became legal tomorrow, would you remain in the church to accept it, or would you question it? It is of course the MEN that advocate this the most, because of course, what could be better than having one chocolate bar? Having several! But does that make it right? To share your soul mate with a dozen or more women is not something that sounds like heaven to me, more like hell! But don't believe me, you have prayer, you can find out for yourself.
And no, I am not anti anyone, I am anti lies! God did not COMMAND anyone to live polygamy, if man and women have agreed amongst themselves they want that life style, it is their free choice, I just disagree when the argument is that it is a command from God, as this is a sinful abominable lie! God bless you my friends x God bless the seeker of truth. All things shall be made known, and all secrets will be revealed to the TRUE prophets of God, and everyone that loves God and is striving to be Christ-like is entitled to personal revelation, ie personal guidance via the Holy Ghost, so get yours, be guided! Drink living water! Receive your own dew from heaven!
Don't quit going to Church, it is filled with beautiful people. They have done nothing wrong, even Jesus still hung out in the Temple in his day, even though the leaders of his time were also corrupt, but he wasn't there for the leaders, he was there for the pure in heart, those that were searching for the truth ... and so, be a light, be the light, if only you know the truth, share it at church in your meetings, stand up for truth! Be heard. Do not be a sheep. Share what you know with those you feel prompted to speak to. It may be wrong to wake people up out of their sleep too soon, they may need some trials and searching of their own, but nevertheless testify of truth as you feel prompted.
My Journal pages of research as I came across the information, how I reacted, what I felt and thought, my prayers, my answers ...
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