Having been a Latter-Day Saint since the age of 15 (when missionaries knocked my door and taught me the Gospel here in England), I have been an avid reader of scripture and studying out all information that came my way because of my love for my new found faith.
The week of my up-coming baptism, a program came on the television which had shocking content. The program was about Mormons and their polygamous lives. I had not known polygamy existed. My family were concerned, and I wanted to know what was going on. My Born Again Christian neighbour who was my mother's age and knew a lot about religion, had been listening to the missionaries with me, so I knocked on her door and asked her opinion. She contacted the missionaries and we were relieved to be told that the program wasn't about 'our church'. It was about a church of people that called themselves Mormons but weren't Mormons.
This pacified us, and we were baptised. I can't deny the joy in my heart of receiving the gospel into my life. It was the best thing ever to happen to me. I truly had a witness of Joseph Smith's testimony of God and Jesus Christ, and of the Book of Mormon, and of course, new-found belief in Jesus Christ and in Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost. I hadn't know these. I was not raised with religion but attended a Church of England school where a minister would address school assembly very regularly, and R.E. lessons taught about God. From these lessons and teachings of the minister, I was very scared of God. He was noone, he was massive as the earth, he was massive as the universe, he was an angry God ready to strike us dead. I was scared of this God.
The missionaries taught me the nature of God, and I came to discover Him and love Him! I developed instant testimony of Jesus Christ and believed wholly that he had really lived, and really was the Son of God, that he really performed miracles, really died for our sins and truly was resurrected. And so with this new found joy, and also the gift of the Holy Ghost who became my constant company and friend, I entered in a joyous life attending The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for the next two decades.
During that time, I was an eager missionary minded person and would chat to everyone about my faith, and in turn those people would either listen and be happy for me, or hand me so called 'anti-mormon' literature.
Now, because my faith was so strong ... absolutely knock out powerfully strong, I was not affected by any negative stuff I was told, because no matter what it said, I had a testimony of God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, The Bible, The Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants, of Joseph Smith and of the general beauty of spirit at the meetings of the church I attended, as well as the love and good hearts of all those people. It was to me, Heaven on Earth! These people cared for me like family, the Church had wonderful activities which involved everyone, it was so edifying! There were dances, camps, youth activities, young people activities, youth trips abroad, learning activities, there was everything to keep a person happy!
So, when the anti-comments came to me, I took it as being satan and his angels trying to destroy God's church and I had a testimony of the Church's goodness, so I shared it. I believed we were under attack.
My previously Born Again neighbour was ostracised by her previous born again friends, they even let let themselves into my Mum's house and insulted the Mormon missionaries as they tried to teach us, cursing them with hell fire and damnation. I was amazed at the rudeness of these born-agains intruding without invitation and then in my mum's house cause such insult. The missionaries were awesome. They kept calm as Jesus Christ himself, and did not retaliate! They said quietly that they couldn't teach under such conditions but would return another time, which was understandable.
Another neighbour I had was a Baptist, she returned from Church one day and communicated to me that her sermon included a showing of an Anti-Mormon video! I was horrified that Christian churches could do such a thing! Wasn't Sunday a day to worship Jesus Christ? How could putting down another Faith be of God!
I held a boot fair to get rid of excess one time, and thought I would put out a Book of Mormon in case anyone wanted to read it, I was going to share it with whoever was interested. Along came a prospective customer, picking up the book she asked me where I got it from. I told her it was mine and I lie not, she spat at me at the same time as throwing the Book of Mormon with outrage onto the floor and declared it not Christian as she went. Well, another example of a christian! I was glad I attended Church with a nice bunch of people who wouldn't dare be so rude and unkind! I was raised in church to treat others how you would want to be treated and to love everyone. My faith was wonderful, the church I attended had Jesus Christ at its Head!
I was doing my family research at St Catherine's house in London one day, and I happened to be overheard talking about the names I was looking for who turned out to be a ninth cousin! We shared some Great Grandparent some generations ago. Well, he was a Born Again and he would send me family history information along with substantial amounts of anti-mormon literature. I would share my testimony and my faith would burn in my bosom. I was proud to be a Latter-Day Saint. My religion was good, and the devil had put alot of lies out there! Lies and un-truths were everywhere concerning the Mormons! It was heartbreaking how many people hated Mormons and Mormon religion ... to me, Satan had done a good job! But I would share my testimony and put things right!
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The above may to you, be nothing about Joseph Smith III but I am going to be talking about him very soon! I just wanted to give you a little bit of background.
As a Youth in Church, we were taught alot about Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, about the ten commandments, about the teachings of Jesus and his sermon on the mount, his death and resurrection. The focus was on good things ... everything I was taught, I knew it to be true because it was true. I was not taught anything that was not in keeping with the scriptures or the Holy Ghost that was my companion. I had no reason to believe the Church was bad in anyway whatsover. The people were good, the teachers were good, the families were good, the missionaries were good .... I was taught high moral standards, to be chaste, to care for my body, to respect my body, to learn about nutrition, exercise, good thoughts, to revile evil speaking, foul language, rudeness etc etc. We were taught good wholesome stuff.
I wasn't taught about the prophets of the Church ... the focus was on the teachings of Jesus, and what Joseph Smith had received as revelation for these latterdays. The prophet at the head of the Church was Spencer W Kimball, when I joined, followed by Ezra Taft Benson, followed by Howard W Hunter followed by Gordon B Hinkley (my absolute favourite, loved that man to bits whenever he spoke!), then the current prophet .. Thomas S Monson.
I had been a teacher in Primary and there was a song that helped you learn all the names of the prophets of the church, and this was about as much as I learnt. We did have some Sunday School lessons touching on some worthy words of the prophets following Joseph Smith, but not alot!
As the years went by, technology became the in-thing, everything is now online and there to be read. It is fantastic for family history researchers, and for college students and learners of anything! Plus it is a great way to communicate.
In my efforts to share the Gospel, which was a passion of mine, I would research possible convert concerns and get back to them if I didn't already have an answer. In my upbringing in the Church, I did recall a vibe that wasn't in keeping with the spirit of Christ, which was about Joseph Smith's wife Emma. Something about her dis-obeying God and that she fell away, probably not in favour with God and would not make it to the celestial kingdom ... this was the under-lying current of the message I picked up on. I was sad in my heart that such a thing would happen, and how did it happen! Noone questioned me about Emma though and I didn't research her, I just stood up for Joseph Smith, as I had a testimony that he was a good man and had died worthy in the site of God, that he had been lied about and Brigham Young had been lied about .. basically everything was a lie or a distortion of the truth as far as I believed.
Interestingly enough, yes I was naive. I didn't check out further than Joseph Smith as I had no reason to. As far as the Church taught me, it had been proper for Brigham Young to be the next prophet after Joseph Smith, I trusted the leaders about me, I trusted the Church, they were good people whose intentions were to raise a good family and teach good morals and to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. We studied from The Bible and The Book of Mormon, and the prophet and the apostles and leaders of the Church taught us to do good. There was no referencing to anything that I would consider offensive or against the teachings of God.
I
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Joseph Smith III's Memoirs ... In process of being added.
I have read and reread this book three times now and have high-lighted the most important parts. It is a chunky book, containing many many pages, and I do recommend a full reading, but to get out the information faster, I will focus on typing up the parts that I feel critical for Latter-day Saints all over the world to know!
The Memoirs of Joseph Smith III, the Son of the Prophet Joseph Smith Jun (1832-1914)
Actual Title:-The Memoirs of President Joseph Smith III (1832-1914)
published by 'Herald House' 1979. Independence, Missouri
'A photo reprint edition of the original publication as edited by Mary Audentia Smith Anderson and appearing in The Saints' Herald (November 6, 1934-July 31, 1937)
Richard P. Howard, Editor
The History Commission
Reorganised Church of Jesus Christ of LatterDay Saints
I am typing up pages from this book ....
Joseph Smith III dedicated his memoirs to his mother Emma Hale with these words :-
Dedication
To my mother, Emma Hale, whom my father, Joseph Smith, married on January 18, 1827, and who was his only wife, I dedicate these memories.
To her care I was committed after the death of my father, together with my brothers, Frederick Granger Williams, Alexander Hale, and David Hyrum, and my adopted sister, Julia Murdock, who shared her motherly solicitude and untiring energy.
I aknowledge with gratitude to my heavenly Father that to the precept and example of my father's humble wife I owe the love for right and the hatred for wrong which have characterized my life. She early impressed upon my mind the conviction that under Divine Providence only truth and right would live and that error and wrong must perish.
Upon those teachings I have tried to build the foundation and rear the structure of my life's services to God, ever bearing in mind the nobility of that character to which she pointed, by precept and example, as the best and the highest that through effort could be attained by man.
Joseph Smith, May 22, 1911
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first few chapters are already accessible online, so I shall proceed with parts that struck my mind the most and type the parts that are apparently not online as of yet.
P. 75.. Joseph Smith III's comments on being mis-represented by Brigham Young and the church in Utah
''It would be out of place to indulge in argumentation in these Memoirs, were it not for the fact that I have been greatly misrepresented by the leading men of the Utah Church, including Brigham Young.
A portion of the statement I made upon my assuming leadership of the Reorganization has been singularly twisted out of its true and intended meaning, in an endeavour to put me in a false light before all classes of Latter Day Saints. In that statement I pledged myself to promulgate no doctrine which was not approved by them with whom I was joining myself in organization, or by the code of good morals.
The leaders of the Utah faction, then in the full swing of preaching and practicing polygamy, endeavored to interpret this statement to mean that I had placed myself subservant to the wills and wishes of those who were the principal movers in the Reorganization.
In the spiritual experiences I had had prior to going to *Amboy, I had been told by my *Spiritual Advisor to have nothing to do with polygamy except to oppose it. I regarded the doctrine as contrary to good morals, and the church which was being reorganised and to which I was uniting myself had already expressed the same opinion and had publicly declared against the evil.
I had gone on record as endorsing the Bible (The King James' Version), the Book of Mormon, and the Book of Covenants as left on record by the church at the death of Joseph and Hyrum Smith. In these three books was to be found the code of good morals, I was sure, and so in these books and in this code of good morals I found the bulwark behind which I gladly took shelter.''
My added Notes:- 'Amboy' was the place Joseph Smith first attended conference of 'The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints'
'Spiritual Advisor' is Joseph Smith III's reference to the Holy Ghost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below is the statement Joseph Smith III made from the stand at the first conference of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints held at Amboy, USA, April 6th, 1860 (the son of the prophet Joseph Smith was at that time in his 28th year).
''I would say to you, brethren - as I hope you may be and in faith I trust you are, as a people that God has promised his blessings upon - I came not here of myself, but by the influence of the Spirit.
For some time past I have received manifestations pointing to the position which I am about to assume. I wish to say that I have come here not to be dictated by any man or set of men. I have come in obedience to a power not my own, and shall be dictated by the power that sent me.
God works by means best known to himself, and I feel that for some time past he has been pointing out a work for me to do. For two or three years past, deputations have been waiting on me, urging me to assume the responsibilities of the leadership of the church; but I have answered each and everyone of them that I did not wish to trifle with the faith of the people.
I do no propose to assume this position in order to amass wealth out of it, neither have I sought it as a profit.
I know opinions are various in relation to these matters. I have conversed with those who told me they would not hesitate one moment in assuming the high and powerful position as the leader of this people. But I have been well aware of the motives which might be ascribed to me - motives of various kinds, at the foundation of all of which is selfishness - should I come forth to stand in the place where my father stood.
I have believed that should I come without the guarantee of the people, I should be received in blindness, and would be liable to be accused of false motives. Neither would I come to you without receiving favour from my heavenly Father.
I have endeavoured as far as possible to keep myself unbiased. I never conversed with J.J. Strang, for in those days I was but a boy and in fact am now but a boy. I had not then acquired a sufficient knowledge of men to be capable of leading myself, setting aside the leading of others.
There is but one principle taught by the leaders of any faction of this people that I hold in utter abhorrence; that is a principle taught by Brigham Young and those believing in him - I have been told that my father taught such doctrines. I have never believed it and never can believe it. If such things were done then I believe they never were done by divine authority. I believe my father was a good man, and a good man never could have promulgated such doectrines.
I believe in the doctrines of honesty and truth. The Bible contains such doctrines, and so do the Book of Mormon, and the Book of Covenants, which are auxilaries to the Bible. I have my peculiar notions in regard to revelations, but am happy to say that they accord with those I am to associate with, at least those of them with whom I have conversed.
I am not very conversant with those books ( pointing to a volume before me), not so conversant as I should be, and will be. The time has been when the thought that I should assume the leadership of this people was so repulsive to me that it seemed as if the thing could never be possible.
The change in my feelings came slowly, and I did not suffer myself to be influenced by extraneous circumstances. I have never read the numerous works sent to me which had a bearing on this subject, for fear they might entice me into wrong-doing. It is my determination to do right and let heaven take care of the result. Thus I come to you free from any taint of sectarianism, or taints from thoughts of the varied minds I have come in contact with; and thus I hope to be able to build up my own reputation as a man.
It has been said that a Mormon elder, though but a stripling, possesses a power unequalled by almost any other preacher. This arises from a depth of feeling, and the earnestness with which they believe the doctrines they teach; and it is this feeling that I do not wish to trifle with.
I know that Brigham Young is considered a man of talent, by some a bold and fortunate man, and by others an unscrupulous and bad man, according as circumstances differ. Should you take me as a leader, I promise that all should be dealt by in mercy, open as to Gentile or Jew.
I ask not to be received except as by the ordinances of the church. Some who ought to know the proprieties of the church have told me that no certain form was necessary in order for me to assume the leadership, that the position came by right of lineage; yet I know that if I attempted to lead as a Prophet by these considerations and not by a call from Heaven, men would not be led to believe who do not believe now. And so I have come not of my own dictation to this sacred office.
I believe that we owe duties to our country and to society, and are amenable to the laws of the land. I have always considered it my duty to act upon this principle; and I do say that among the people where I live I have as many good and true friends as I could desire among those of any society. The people of Hancock County have been strongly anti-Mormons; I have mingled with them, and have not only been obliged not to make any remarks which might give offense, but also to smother my feelings if I had any. I hold not enmity to any man living who has fought this doctrine; nor do I know any who hold enmity towards me. I hope there are none.
In conclusion: I will come to you if you will receive me! will give my ability, and the influence my name may bring, together with what little power I possess; and I trust by your prayers and faith to be sustained. I pledge myself to promulgate no doctrine that shall not be approved by you or the code of good morals.
I have my shortcomings, but I trust as a leader I shall do nothing to lead astray. If I do so, I shall expect condemnation; for I am satisfied that this people, governed by the same policy would serve me worse than they have Brigham Young before, for I would be wholly deserted. A gentleman from Utah informs me that a majority of Brigham Young's people are restive, not satisfied with their condition, but dare say nothing. He says that those who preach and those who practice those teachings are in reality the old fogies of the institution, and that the younger ones take a different view of matters.
I do not care to say any more at present, but will simply add that if the same Spirit which prompts my coming, prompts my reception, I am with you.''
Joseph Smith III at the end of his life commented about the statement he made of 1860....
''I made the statement purposely to protect myself against the evil of animadversion from the advocates of plural marriage and to give to the worthy men I was joining - men who had been members of the church in my father's day - a guarantee that I sought neither to foist upon them evil and corrupt doctrines nor to use spiritual interests and influence to secure personal advantage, prestige, or power. The statement was clear, and I was determined then, as I am now, to stand by it to the end of the conflict and that I would accept no associations - with them or with any class of believers - without just such safeguard. ''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.70 .... Joseph Smith III's thoughts before choosing to lead the Reorganised Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ....
''The questions where to go and with which body of believers in the restored gospel to identify myself could be easily canvassed and answered now, in the light of events that have passed. They were not so easy at the time I had first to decide them. Many things were involved over which I prayed earnestly, greatly needing and desiring light and direction.
Should I wish to join with the Utah faction I should be under the necessity of going to Salt Lake City, and either ask to be received on my original baptism, or submit myself to the ordinance of rebaptism, the imposition of which had become universal out there, applied at the dictation of Brigham Young who decreed that 'all passing over the rim of the basin' should subject themselves to that rule.
I was satisfied that President Young would not receive me upon the terms of the first alternative, for to do so would have been a contradiction of his avowed policies.
As to the second, I believed that the baptism I had received at the hands of my father had been as sacred and effective as any baptism performed since the days of the Saviour could possibly be, and that the ordinance of laying on of hands for the reception of the Holy Ghost, which ordinance was administered by my Sunday school teacher, had been efficacious for the purpose designed, and that I had, indeed, received that gift.
Did I wish, then, to forfeit what spiritual blessing, power, and standing these ordinances had given me? Could I afford to throw discredit upon either by casting it aside and submit to a readministration?
My feelings strongly revolted against such a step, for I felt it would have required me to throw away every sense of sacredness with which I had accepted the ordinances in my young boyhood and tacitly repudiate that which I had received. This was a course distinctly at variance with all the instructions I had received on the subjects from my father, from the pulpits of the early church, and from its Sunday school teachers.
And there were other phases of the question. Should it be possible for me to go to Brigham Young and ask and receive rebaptism at the hands of that body, by that act I should be permitting myself to be inducted into the changed policies adopted by the leading authorities of that church, and virtually subscribing myself to their acceptance. These changes included the dogma and practice of plural marriage, then quite generally called polygamy, and a number of concomitant theories which, as I believed, had come to seem necessary in advocating and defending 'the faith' as publicly set forth in Utah. Such a course was repugnant to me in countless ways, and was one which I could not admit even to contemplation.
Further; rebaptism out there would require administration of the ordinance of laying on of hands as taught in the New Testament Scripture, the Book of Mormon, and the revelations to the church as contained in the Book of Covenants, all of which I thoroughly believed. Such an ordinance would have to be performed by either Brigham Young or those under him who might me assigned to the duty. If the reports of well-established facts were of worth, I felt justified in believing that some of the men who might be appointed to this task had either personally reddened their hands in the blood of their fellow men, or were responsible, through counsel and countenance, for others doing so - as witnessed in the Mountain Meadow Massacre of 1857. Reflecting on these matters I asked myself:
'Could I bring myself to accept baptism, confirmation, or other ordinances administered by or under such hands?'
As a citizen of the State of Illinois and of the Republic, as a student of the laws of State and Nation, and as one who had heard and read much about the great struggles for political and religious liberty which have taken place upon this land of Zion, I decided I could not conscientiously ally myself with those who could, according to apparent facts, be justly charged with such crimes. 'Thou shalt not kill', was an unchangeable law, written deeply upon the sacred tablets of rock in Moses' day; and while the law of Moses made nothing perfect, with the bringing in of 'the better hope' there came a repetition of the same divine commandment, as cited by the Master in the New Testament record. Likewise, again, in the revealments of Christ to the church as reinstated in latter days, which revelations were given as law to govern his church, this command came as a re-enactment, and given in such force as to fill the scope of the wondrous prophecy:
' I will write my law in their hearts'
' Thou shalt not commit adultery,' had also been engraven in the rock as a law to the Israelites. This too, was re-enacted by the voice of the Master in the meridian of time, and re-enacted and re-enforced again in the Book of Mormon and in the Doctrine and Commandments to the latter day church.
Therefore I felt I could not consent to ask for a baptism and for a confirmation which would be administered by the hands of men who, by submission to the direction and dictation of Brigham Young, had helped to fasten such evils such as adultery and bloodshed upon the body politic of the church, and to write them into the faith and doctrine of the church.
Further: to accept membership in the Utah Mormon Church under its president, Brigham Young, upon any terms, either upon my original baptism or by accepting baptism and confirmation at their hands, would have been tantamount to admitting that their claims that my father was responsible for , and the human author of, the dogma and practice of spiritual wifery; that it existed as a sublime theory of self-abnegation in the flesh to be rewarded in the world to come by a sublimated and spiritual personal association between the sexes; and that subsequently it became the doctrine recognized as plural marriage, now commonly called polygamy.
Such a step on my part would be, in effect, to concede that such claims were true, that I had knowledge to it,and that my father was indeed compromised in the introduction of said dogma and practice. Such a concession would have been untrue, for all the knowledge that came to me from observation and experience as a member of my father's family up to the time of his death and in association with the members of the family who survived him, clearly and unequivocally contradicted any such conclusion.
I was not a believer in any sort of extreme theory concerning the sublime sanctity of human affection between the sexes while in the flesh, nor did I accept the theory of what was taught as 'platonic love', for I believe the only persons of opposite sex between whom such love could exist were those who were abnormally emasculated or those in whom natural love was not possible.
To admit that my father was the author of such false theories as were being taught, or that he practiced them in any form, was not only repulsive in itself to my feelings and strongly condemned by my judgement, but was contrary to my knowledge of, and belief in him, would serve to neutralise at one the intention I had formed to redeem his memory from false accusations and make honourable in the sight of men the religion for which he became a martyr, and would result in the utter failure on my part to accomplish that which I felt divinely urged to do. I did not feel it was necessary for me to make any such confession, openly or tacitly, as would be involved in an affiliation with the organisation that had made those charges about him, his teaching, and his conduct; and I am grateful as I reflect that in over fifty years of active service dedicated to the objects I had in view, there has never been presented to me any evidence worthy to be called proof by which I have been compelled to reverse the conviction of my judgement on these important matters, made at the time I took up my ministry. Nor have I been called to suffer shame before God and man by having to receive and admit a knowledge that my father was guilty of such gross immorality as I deem that which was laid to his door, or such wanton forgetfulness of divine precepts and utter disregard for the clear direct commands of God given to him through revelation as have been charged against him.'
To be continued ..... I will add as I have time, but will focus on getting it typed up within the next few days and weeks.
The Memoirs of Joseph Smith III, the Son of the Prophet Joseph Smith Jun (1832-1914)
Actual Title:-The Memoirs of President Joseph Smith III (1832-1914)
published by 'Herald House' 1979. Independence, Missouri
'A photo reprint edition of the original publication as edited by Mary Audentia Smith Anderson and appearing in The Saints' Herald (November 6, 1934-July 31, 1937)
Richard P. Howard, Editor
The History Commission
Reorganised Church of Jesus Christ of LatterDay Saints
I am typing up pages from this book ....
Joseph Smith III dedicated his memoirs to his mother Emma Hale with these words :-
Dedication
To my mother, Emma Hale, whom my father, Joseph Smith, married on January 18, 1827, and who was his only wife, I dedicate these memories.
To her care I was committed after the death of my father, together with my brothers, Frederick Granger Williams, Alexander Hale, and David Hyrum, and my adopted sister, Julia Murdock, who shared her motherly solicitude and untiring energy.
I aknowledge with gratitude to my heavenly Father that to the precept and example of my father's humble wife I owe the love for right and the hatred for wrong which have characterized my life. She early impressed upon my mind the conviction that under Divine Providence only truth and right would live and that error and wrong must perish.
Upon those teachings I have tried to build the foundation and rear the structure of my life's services to God, ever bearing in mind the nobility of that character to which she pointed, by precept and example, as the best and the highest that through effort could be attained by man.
Joseph Smith, May 22, 1911
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first few chapters are already accessible online, so I shall proceed with parts that struck my mind the most and type the parts that are apparently not online as of yet.
P. 75.. Joseph Smith III's comments on being mis-represented by Brigham Young and the church in Utah
''It would be out of place to indulge in argumentation in these Memoirs, were it not for the fact that I have been greatly misrepresented by the leading men of the Utah Church, including Brigham Young.
A portion of the statement I made upon my assuming leadership of the Reorganization has been singularly twisted out of its true and intended meaning, in an endeavour to put me in a false light before all classes of Latter Day Saints. In that statement I pledged myself to promulgate no doctrine which was not approved by them with whom I was joining myself in organization, or by the code of good morals.
The leaders of the Utah faction, then in the full swing of preaching and practicing polygamy, endeavored to interpret this statement to mean that I had placed myself subservant to the wills and wishes of those who were the principal movers in the Reorganization.
In the spiritual experiences I had had prior to going to *Amboy, I had been told by my *Spiritual Advisor to have nothing to do with polygamy except to oppose it. I regarded the doctrine as contrary to good morals, and the church which was being reorganised and to which I was uniting myself had already expressed the same opinion and had publicly declared against the evil.
I had gone on record as endorsing the Bible (The King James' Version), the Book of Mormon, and the Book of Covenants as left on record by the church at the death of Joseph and Hyrum Smith. In these three books was to be found the code of good morals, I was sure, and so in these books and in this code of good morals I found the bulwark behind which I gladly took shelter.''
My added Notes:- 'Amboy' was the place Joseph Smith first attended conference of 'The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints'
'Spiritual Advisor' is Joseph Smith III's reference to the Holy Ghost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below is the statement Joseph Smith III made from the stand at the first conference of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints held at Amboy, USA, April 6th, 1860 (the son of the prophet Joseph Smith was at that time in his 28th year).
''I would say to you, brethren - as I hope you may be and in faith I trust you are, as a people that God has promised his blessings upon - I came not here of myself, but by the influence of the Spirit.
For some time past I have received manifestations pointing to the position which I am about to assume. I wish to say that I have come here not to be dictated by any man or set of men. I have come in obedience to a power not my own, and shall be dictated by the power that sent me.
God works by means best known to himself, and I feel that for some time past he has been pointing out a work for me to do. For two or three years past, deputations have been waiting on me, urging me to assume the responsibilities of the leadership of the church; but I have answered each and everyone of them that I did not wish to trifle with the faith of the people.
I do no propose to assume this position in order to amass wealth out of it, neither have I sought it as a profit.
I know opinions are various in relation to these matters. I have conversed with those who told me they would not hesitate one moment in assuming the high and powerful position as the leader of this people. But I have been well aware of the motives which might be ascribed to me - motives of various kinds, at the foundation of all of which is selfishness - should I come forth to stand in the place where my father stood.
I have believed that should I come without the guarantee of the people, I should be received in blindness, and would be liable to be accused of false motives. Neither would I come to you without receiving favour from my heavenly Father.
I have endeavoured as far as possible to keep myself unbiased. I never conversed with J.J. Strang, for in those days I was but a boy and in fact am now but a boy. I had not then acquired a sufficient knowledge of men to be capable of leading myself, setting aside the leading of others.
There is but one principle taught by the leaders of any faction of this people that I hold in utter abhorrence; that is a principle taught by Brigham Young and those believing in him - I have been told that my father taught such doctrines. I have never believed it and never can believe it. If such things were done then I believe they never were done by divine authority. I believe my father was a good man, and a good man never could have promulgated such doectrines.
I believe in the doctrines of honesty and truth. The Bible contains such doctrines, and so do the Book of Mormon, and the Book of Covenants, which are auxilaries to the Bible. I have my peculiar notions in regard to revelations, but am happy to say that they accord with those I am to associate with, at least those of them with whom I have conversed.
I am not very conversant with those books ( pointing to a volume before me), not so conversant as I should be, and will be. The time has been when the thought that I should assume the leadership of this people was so repulsive to me that it seemed as if the thing could never be possible.
The change in my feelings came slowly, and I did not suffer myself to be influenced by extraneous circumstances. I have never read the numerous works sent to me which had a bearing on this subject, for fear they might entice me into wrong-doing. It is my determination to do right and let heaven take care of the result. Thus I come to you free from any taint of sectarianism, or taints from thoughts of the varied minds I have come in contact with; and thus I hope to be able to build up my own reputation as a man.
It has been said that a Mormon elder, though but a stripling, possesses a power unequalled by almost any other preacher. This arises from a depth of feeling, and the earnestness with which they believe the doctrines they teach; and it is this feeling that I do not wish to trifle with.
I know that Brigham Young is considered a man of talent, by some a bold and fortunate man, and by others an unscrupulous and bad man, according as circumstances differ. Should you take me as a leader, I promise that all should be dealt by in mercy, open as to Gentile or Jew.
I ask not to be received except as by the ordinances of the church. Some who ought to know the proprieties of the church have told me that no certain form was necessary in order for me to assume the leadership, that the position came by right of lineage; yet I know that if I attempted to lead as a Prophet by these considerations and not by a call from Heaven, men would not be led to believe who do not believe now. And so I have come not of my own dictation to this sacred office.
I believe that we owe duties to our country and to society, and are amenable to the laws of the land. I have always considered it my duty to act upon this principle; and I do say that among the people where I live I have as many good and true friends as I could desire among those of any society. The people of Hancock County have been strongly anti-Mormons; I have mingled with them, and have not only been obliged not to make any remarks which might give offense, but also to smother my feelings if I had any. I hold not enmity to any man living who has fought this doctrine; nor do I know any who hold enmity towards me. I hope there are none.
In conclusion: I will come to you if you will receive me! will give my ability, and the influence my name may bring, together with what little power I possess; and I trust by your prayers and faith to be sustained. I pledge myself to promulgate no doctrine that shall not be approved by you or the code of good morals.
I have my shortcomings, but I trust as a leader I shall do nothing to lead astray. If I do so, I shall expect condemnation; for I am satisfied that this people, governed by the same policy would serve me worse than they have Brigham Young before, for I would be wholly deserted. A gentleman from Utah informs me that a majority of Brigham Young's people are restive, not satisfied with their condition, but dare say nothing. He says that those who preach and those who practice those teachings are in reality the old fogies of the institution, and that the younger ones take a different view of matters.
I do not care to say any more at present, but will simply add that if the same Spirit which prompts my coming, prompts my reception, I am with you.''
Joseph Smith III at the end of his life commented about the statement he made of 1860....
''I made the statement purposely to protect myself against the evil of animadversion from the advocates of plural marriage and to give to the worthy men I was joining - men who had been members of the church in my father's day - a guarantee that I sought neither to foist upon them evil and corrupt doctrines nor to use spiritual interests and influence to secure personal advantage, prestige, or power. The statement was clear, and I was determined then, as I am now, to stand by it to the end of the conflict and that I would accept no associations - with them or with any class of believers - without just such safeguard. ''
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P.70 .... Joseph Smith III's thoughts before choosing to lead the Reorganised Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ....
''The questions where to go and with which body of believers in the restored gospel to identify myself could be easily canvassed and answered now, in the light of events that have passed. They were not so easy at the time I had first to decide them. Many things were involved over which I prayed earnestly, greatly needing and desiring light and direction.
Should I wish to join with the Utah faction I should be under the necessity of going to Salt Lake City, and either ask to be received on my original baptism, or submit myself to the ordinance of rebaptism, the imposition of which had become universal out there, applied at the dictation of Brigham Young who decreed that 'all passing over the rim of the basin' should subject themselves to that rule.
I was satisfied that President Young would not receive me upon the terms of the first alternative, for to do so would have been a contradiction of his avowed policies.
As to the second, I believed that the baptism I had received at the hands of my father had been as sacred and effective as any baptism performed since the days of the Saviour could possibly be, and that the ordinance of laying on of hands for the reception of the Holy Ghost, which ordinance was administered by my Sunday school teacher, had been efficacious for the purpose designed, and that I had, indeed, received that gift.
Did I wish, then, to forfeit what spiritual blessing, power, and standing these ordinances had given me? Could I afford to throw discredit upon either by casting it aside and submit to a readministration?
My feelings strongly revolted against such a step, for I felt it would have required me to throw away every sense of sacredness with which I had accepted the ordinances in my young boyhood and tacitly repudiate that which I had received. This was a course distinctly at variance with all the instructions I had received on the subjects from my father, from the pulpits of the early church, and from its Sunday school teachers.
And there were other phases of the question. Should it be possible for me to go to Brigham Young and ask and receive rebaptism at the hands of that body, by that act I should be permitting myself to be inducted into the changed policies adopted by the leading authorities of that church, and virtually subscribing myself to their acceptance. These changes included the dogma and practice of plural marriage, then quite generally called polygamy, and a number of concomitant theories which, as I believed, had come to seem necessary in advocating and defending 'the faith' as publicly set forth in Utah. Such a course was repugnant to me in countless ways, and was one which I could not admit even to contemplation.
Further; rebaptism out there would require administration of the ordinance of laying on of hands as taught in the New Testament Scripture, the Book of Mormon, and the revelations to the church as contained in the Book of Covenants, all of which I thoroughly believed. Such an ordinance would have to be performed by either Brigham Young or those under him who might me assigned to the duty. If the reports of well-established facts were of worth, I felt justified in believing that some of the men who might be appointed to this task had either personally reddened their hands in the blood of their fellow men, or were responsible, through counsel and countenance, for others doing so - as witnessed in the Mountain Meadow Massacre of 1857. Reflecting on these matters I asked myself:
'Could I bring myself to accept baptism, confirmation, or other ordinances administered by or under such hands?'
As a citizen of the State of Illinois and of the Republic, as a student of the laws of State and Nation, and as one who had heard and read much about the great struggles for political and religious liberty which have taken place upon this land of Zion, I decided I could not conscientiously ally myself with those who could, according to apparent facts, be justly charged with such crimes. 'Thou shalt not kill', was an unchangeable law, written deeply upon the sacred tablets of rock in Moses' day; and while the law of Moses made nothing perfect, with the bringing in of 'the better hope' there came a repetition of the same divine commandment, as cited by the Master in the New Testament record. Likewise, again, in the revealments of Christ to the church as reinstated in latter days, which revelations were given as law to govern his church, this command came as a re-enactment, and given in such force as to fill the scope of the wondrous prophecy:
' I will write my law in their hearts'
' Thou shalt not commit adultery,' had also been engraven in the rock as a law to the Israelites. This too, was re-enacted by the voice of the Master in the meridian of time, and re-enacted and re-enforced again in the Book of Mormon and in the Doctrine and Commandments to the latter day church.
Therefore I felt I could not consent to ask for a baptism and for a confirmation which would be administered by the hands of men who, by submission to the direction and dictation of Brigham Young, had helped to fasten such evils such as adultery and bloodshed upon the body politic of the church, and to write them into the faith and doctrine of the church.
Further: to accept membership in the Utah Mormon Church under its president, Brigham Young, upon any terms, either upon my original baptism or by accepting baptism and confirmation at their hands, would have been tantamount to admitting that their claims that my father was responsible for , and the human author of, the dogma and practice of spiritual wifery; that it existed as a sublime theory of self-abnegation in the flesh to be rewarded in the world to come by a sublimated and spiritual personal association between the sexes; and that subsequently it became the doctrine recognized as plural marriage, now commonly called polygamy.
Such a step on my part would be, in effect, to concede that such claims were true, that I had knowledge to it,and that my father was indeed compromised in the introduction of said dogma and practice. Such a concession would have been untrue, for all the knowledge that came to me from observation and experience as a member of my father's family up to the time of his death and in association with the members of the family who survived him, clearly and unequivocally contradicted any such conclusion.
I was not a believer in any sort of extreme theory concerning the sublime sanctity of human affection between the sexes while in the flesh, nor did I accept the theory of what was taught as 'platonic love', for I believe the only persons of opposite sex between whom such love could exist were those who were abnormally emasculated or those in whom natural love was not possible.
To admit that my father was the author of such false theories as were being taught, or that he practiced them in any form, was not only repulsive in itself to my feelings and strongly condemned by my judgement, but was contrary to my knowledge of, and belief in him, would serve to neutralise at one the intention I had formed to redeem his memory from false accusations and make honourable in the sight of men the religion for which he became a martyr, and would result in the utter failure on my part to accomplish that which I felt divinely urged to do. I did not feel it was necessary for me to make any such confession, openly or tacitly, as would be involved in an affiliation with the organisation that had made those charges about him, his teaching, and his conduct; and I am grateful as I reflect that in over fifty years of active service dedicated to the objects I had in view, there has never been presented to me any evidence worthy to be called proof by which I have been compelled to reverse the conviction of my judgement on these important matters, made at the time I took up my ministry. Nor have I been called to suffer shame before God and man by having to receive and admit a knowledge that my father was guilty of such gross immorality as I deem that which was laid to his door, or such wanton forgetfulness of divine precepts and utter disregard for the clear direct commands of God given to him through revelation as have been charged against him.'
To be continued ..... I will add as I have time, but will focus on getting it typed up within the next few days and weeks.
My story and how I got to read Joseph Smith III and his Memoirs....
After-thoughts ...... I ended up getting carried away typing a huge amount of personal stuff, and suggest you might like to go straight to my next blog on Joseph Smith III's writing if that is what you are interested in .... below are some of the experiences I had which impacted on my curiousity to research Joseph Smith III but if you were eager like me, you might want to just cut to the chase! Come back and read this after if you feel inclined to!
Hi, I am Yolanda, I have been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for 28 years since I was converted by the Holy Ghost way back in 1985 when I was 15. I have loved the Gospel ever since, and have enjoyed being amongst some of the most beautifully hearted people I know all wanting to please God and to share the love of Jesus Christ.
I am a lover of truth and am not afraid of it. As true children of God, he doesn't expect us to follow blindly, but to be guided by the gift he has given, which is the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost will teach you all things and guide you, testifying of the truth of all things. As an avid reader and explorer of the Gospel, and teachings of the prophets from olden times til now, I have absorbed much and joyed in the teachings. I have been blessed to discern the writings of man compared to the writings of man when under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost ... they are two different things.
I have shared the Gospel for 28 years, as I have had a perfect testimony of what I was taught ... when I prayed at the age of 15, for the first time, I addressed Heavenly Father and asked him if Jesus Christ died for us, asked about the Book of Mormon, asked about Joseph Smith and I received my answer. I was astounded! I did not know if God actually existed, but I was praying in hope and praying in faith and when I finished my prayer I cannot describe in words how amazing an experience I received but I can try.
I heard a male voice, calm, beautiful, clear, which spoke my name and said these words 'Yolanda, It is True'
amazed that I heard a voice, joy filled me, and it was as if pure light were beaming into my heart and soul, I felt a deep warmth enter into my heart and lungs and spread out as if filling me like I was a bellows being filled with hot air .... and this spread to my head and toes and I felt so light and filled with pure joy that I felt I could fly! This stayed with me testifying to me that God truly lives! That angels are real, that Jesus Christ is real, and that miracles are real and revelation between us and God is real, that the Holy Ghost is real!
I was so excited that I told everyone! I was a missionary spirited person telling everyone, many people were baptised into the church from my zeal of Church. I devoured all scripture, studied and studied, read the entire Bible from cover to cover by the age of 17, and read the entire church history. I had many people wanting to show me I was deceived, these people would unindate me with anti-mormon literature, but I had an answer for everything, as I had my testimony .... the Church I belonged to had God in it, it was filled with good people and good teachings. It was and is the best church I ever knew and filled with the most beautiful people.
When I completed the reading the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants also by the age of 17, I became disappointed that between the time I joined the Church and right up until now, that there didn't seem to be revelation received by the church the same as it flowed in the days of Joseph Smith. I wanted to receive guidance, and felt that in this day and age so much was going on that surely God had much guidance to give his Church ..... but silence reigned! what was going on! Gordon B Hinkley came along and this man I adored! When I first saw his face after he was called as prophet, I didn't think much of him, his looks and his wide nose and glasses were all I saw, but then he spoke. And that voice of that man! His voice spoke Spirit instantly. I hung onto every word he spoke, I loved that man! I sobbed like I lost a relative when he passed away in 2008.
Being a lover of the Book of Mormon and of the teachings of Joseph Smith, I eagerly wanted to hear about gathering of Zion ... the building up of a Temple in Independence, Missouri, the return of Jesus Christ, instruction from the prophet about what we were to do ..... but although we were taught self-reliance and food storage, the idea of the gathering had ceased ... no news of it! And also when I read the History of the Church, there seemed so much missing. I read and read ... I wanted to know all about the life of Joseph Smith, I read all the Ensigns, New Era, Read all the Church books ... all the testimony building books ... Jesus The Christ, etc etc .... I did Seminary and Institute, I was the Spiritual Living Teacher for Relief Society and a Ward and Stake Missionary ....
My Patriarchal Blessing proclaimed me to be a seeker after truth, and that I would find it as I searched for it, I was also blessed to have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ, and of his prophets and apostles, and that angels would assist me when I needed anything ..... so my thirst for truth was warranted, I was even told that I would teach the gospel to both Israel and the gentiles, and so I have sought to do this. The Anti Mormon literature I was given, I was able to refute. I knew my church was good, and so the literature was a lie of the devil. From 1985 onwards, everyone and his mother gave me their views on mormons, mostly of a negative nature ... but as I said, my enthusiasm contributed to many being baptised. It was the spirit that the missionaries brought with them too, that touched my heart. The room literally felt lit up when they were round, like as if they dispelled darkness and brought with them the sunshine!
So, what I am going to share, I want you to know that I have a testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and that my testimony is of the goodness of many of the members, and the words of Joseph Smith, and all the goodness of the teachings of prophets since I joined the church in 1985 ...and of the Book of Mormon, and of the revelations received by Joseph Smith, and I have a testimony of baptism for the dead, of washings and annointings and of sealings, I have a testimony of missionary work, of tithing, of following the guidance of the Holy Ghost within.
Unfortunately I have not been blessed with a testimony of the Endowment ceremony, but enjoy the company of the saints about me. I have loved the Temple so much that I moved to be within a fifteen minute drive of it, and also ten minutes walk from the nearest chapel ... living in England, that is not bad! There are a few chapels spread out, and only two temples here.
I have visited many of the sacred sites to the Church ...Independence, Liberty Jail, Carthage Jail, Nauvoo, Salt Lake City, Salt Lake City Temple, Far West, Adam-Ondi-Ahman .... etc etc. I received a witness at Far West as I stood on the site that has been set aside for a temple there and where the apostles met before they left for their mission to Great Britain. I saw the bullet holes in the door of the Carthage Jail, I saw the window Joseph fell out of ... my spirit was touched.
I visited Independence wards, the spirit was on fire there, many members told me they had had spiritual witnesses to gather there. I had one of my first odd experiences one Sunday whilst trying to find the Chapel ... I found what I thought was an LDS chapel, but discovered it was not. This was in 2003. A lady holding a triple combination, gave me directions to the chapel I was after. I was to discover that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was not the only church of that name! There were many with similar variations of the Church's name. And the members were also called Mormons, or Latter-day Saints. This was a curiousity which I didn't expect. I had heard there was one break off, but I didn't anticipate there being perhaps hundreds!
I didn't let it affect me. I returned home on fire from my spiritual experiences and just noted in my mind that it was such a shame that people had broken away from the Church Joseph Smith had organised, and assumed they were all apostates. I had been subtly taught at church that Joseph Smith's wife Emma had disobeyed God, and would not make it to the Celestial Kingdom, I was always sad in my heart at how such a thing were possible, as she had sacrificed so much and gone through so much, why would she have forfeited her place in heaven? I didn't question the church, I was just sad for Joseph and sad for Emma. I also was told in a mocking way at church that Joseph Smith had a son that had started a church and that it was against our church, that the leadership went from father to son, and they had run out of sons and were asking our church if any descendants of Joseph Smith might take over as their head .... I was incredulous at hearing these things. Once again, I just thought 'sad people' sad apostate, lost people! I was told this church has built a temple and owned the temple lot, so we latter-day saints couldn't build the temple that was prophesised to be built upon that Temple Lot in preparation for the Saviour's return. It made me quite anxious wondering what we as a church were to do! I wanted that Temple built, and I wanted to be part of it.
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2004 ... I came across a church record whilst researching my family history, the record was for Joseph Smith and it listed names, dates and marriages for him. I was in shock and collapsed on my knees. I had never believed the rumours, but here in front of me was 'evidence' .... what about my testimony! I prayed to ask God for help, I needed to understand and I needed answers. The Holy Ghost asked me two questions to which I responded positively .... 'Do you believe Joseph Smith to be a prophet of God? I did, 'Do you believe in The Book of Mormon?' Yes, I did. After these responses, the Holy Ghost confirmed my answers and I was given the impression that I was not to worry, but that a future date, all would be revealed to me, but that I was not to worry.
I went to my Bishop and spoke to him about it, he couldn't help me. Apparently the Church taught that Joseph Smith actually was polygamous, and that God had commanded him to take more wives. I did not have a witness or testimony of this, but I accepted it if it was God's will. But it didn't feel right to me, and yes I had read D&C 132, but I considered it deep doctrine and as polygamy was nothing to do with the church, I wasn't concerned about it. Back in 1985 I was told the church had nothing to do with polygamy, and I was also told about Abraham having extra wives so I put it to the back of my mind, but the missionaries never taught me about this principle, and never told me Joseph had more wives.
The Holy Ghost testified of many things to me, but never a witness of polygamy. The church taught us not to research Journal of Discourses, or to take notice of anything anyone said about stories of the history of the church. So, I steered clear, resting on my testimony. I bore my testimony everyFast Sunday and fasted often, I yearned to know more. Where was latter-day here and now revelation from prophets of God? Where was it? Good as they appeared, the same things were spoken of over and over each conference, the same stories of pioneers etc, but no new flowing of revelation to guide us in the way Joseph Smith received it.
Then one day my eldest son, contemplating going on a mission, came across some wonderful writings! They were of the inspirational heart pounding style of Joseph Smith! Past the date of Joseph Smith's death. They were the printings of the True Saints Herald! My son and I were amazed and for the first time in two decades, we drank in those words, the words of men inspired by the Holy Ghost! Who were these people?
I was to find out that they were the words of Joseph Smith's son !! Joseph Smith III! I knew nothing about him, apart from the rumours he started his own church. I wanted to know more, so I decided to research about him and read a biography about him, then researched his writings.
As a lover of the gospel, and a lover of truth, I felt truly blessed to hear another side of the story, more of the life of Joseph Smith Jun, and of his wife Emma! I read the History of The Church written by Joseph Smith jun, as published by Joseph Smith his son! It was different in content ... it had more details! I had always been a little disappointed at the perfect way that the Church had been portrayed, as if everything was absolutely faultless, but here the words were of what actually happened ... it made me feel I knew Joseph Smith better, and those of the early Church. I didn't even know Joseph Smith had brothers in the Church that were alive at the time of his death apart from Hyrum. But there was Don Carlos and Samuel too ... both died around the time Joseph did, and William ....
I discovered that Joseph Smith jun edited a church newspaper called the Times and Seasons. These papers had been put online! I read with delight the content! I read his Presidential us candidacy letter ... it was fascinating, then I ordered a copy of Joseph Smith III's memoirs as I wanted to know what had gone on in the days of life, and that of his father ....
It made sense the things I discovered. All the nigglings I had at church when certain things were said, that didn't feel right ... it suddenly all made sense!
I hope you have that too ......
In 2004 I was told I would have my answers about Joseph Smith and polygamy, and I was blessed in the year 2012/2013 to know the truth. Before that, I was prepared of God to receive these things by certain trials I went through from 2001-2006, and from 2006-2010. Major things happened which broke my heart and which I needed God to help me understand, and I had become distraught because the things particularly that happened to me between 2009 and 2011 were church induced, and Temple related. At one point I sat in the Temple grounds, and wrote in my journal that I felt I was surrounded by pharisees but couldn't understand it. This was the true church, I had moved to be closer to God's house, and yet the closer I got to the workings of the people and their actions .. the more horrified I was in the lack of Spiritual guidance. Men guided by their own actions, not by the Holy Ghost. I had been a faithful member for over 20 years, and here were people in high places treated me with disdain, no empathy, no charity, I was brushed off and felt like a leper! I had a temple recommend for two decades, no masterbating, no flirting, no swearing, no abuse, no smoking or drinking alcohol or tea or coffee, obediently serving in several callings ....
What began to shock me was that there was more 'spirit' in the lay members than in the leaders! How could that be possible? What was going on! The Church had become as if run as a business, no longer by promptings of the Spirit, but by what man thought .... now we know the scripture .. God's thoughts are not our thoughts! We cannot know the mind of God without praying for guidance, without turning to him for answers, and here were people in leadership acting as if they were priviledged to speak the word of God without even beginning with pray! Without seeking for guidance! I had a matter that needed discussing, I went to my Bishop, I went to the Stake President, I went to the Recorder ....I went to the Temple President ... I will tell you, I was shocked at the unchristian way I was treated.
Now you may think this all odd that I should tell you this, but to me the church was true, and nothing and noone in the whole wide world could convince me any differently, and may I add I do believe this is the best church upon the planet to go to and be part of, but I am demonstrating things happened to change my mind set in such a way that it became more open, less judgemental, and more teachable. I was prepared through my sufferings.
For curiousities sake, I will tell you what the falling out was about, as you will perhaps be wondering. I married a newly baptized latterday saint that had not conquered pornography. Over the years he became increasingly abusive to me and our children, to the point he threatened to kill me if I left him, and he was demanding more and more 'indecent sex'. I believed in marriage, and believed it a sin to divorce. We married in 1989, and by 2006/7 I was in breakdown mode, I couldn't tell anyone what was going on, I was a missionary person, only member in my extended family and I wanted them to only think good of the church, and so I silently suffered. But in 2007 and I couldn't take anymore, I wanted to die. I couldn't as it is a sin to commit suicide according to the Church. But I had a breakdown, and in this time I was taken care of by God as I kept a journal and the Holy Ghost would comfort me and gave me instruction, and gave me hope.
I was told to divorce my husband. I was shocked at the revelation I received, but I was also told that a righteous man would be prepared for me and love me as I was intended to be loved, and would love my children as a father. We were blessed to escape. By October 2008, we escaped. I had told the Bishop, but he treated it lightly, he didn't believe there was anything serious going on, I told my RS president that I needed help, but she also did not believe in helping a woman escape her husband. He had threatened me over a period of two years, to kill me. He strangled me, punched me, hit me, kicked me, he was paranoid I was going to leave him, he told me noone else would love me like he did. I was petrified. He moved out at my request, but moved in round the corner. He stalked me, he threatened me still, this led to my breakdown and he pretended to be my carer and moved himself back in within six months, he also was using my body for sex and if I refused, he threatened to kill himself and so I was trapped. This is why I became suicidal, but I gained strength, with the help of the Holy Ghost, and had him move out again but the situation carried on - the abuse and threats and sexual abuse, manipulation, violence and control continued. I had a meeting with my children and they all voted (all seven of them aged then 7, 9,11,13,15,17 & 18) and we left.
To cut a long story short, we were taken care of by church members in another part of the country and we were blessed. I had received revelation that we would be taken care of and we were! It was a miracle, miracle after miracle occurred! It was like we were Lehi and Sara with Nephi and his family on our travels, we were blessed left right and centre! It was incredible!
Now, I also went to the Temple and prayed about it all first, and asked for guidance from the Temple presidency about my revelation to divorce my husband ... they agreed and gave me their blessing telling me that no man should treat his wife in such a way , especially a man with the priesthood.
But, I had revelation that a good man would come into my life and that I would have a new husband ...
This is where the trial came in which made me more open to study out and research truth, and pray literally every second of the day for help to bear my pains ....
Because this is where the church revealed itself to me as a replica of the days of Jesus, where he was persecuted by the actual Temple people! They were the ones who should be the holiest right? And they were the ones that had him put to death, well, I felt I was Jesus during this next period of my life, as I was treated like a harlot, like a wicked woman, I was devastated and broken. It brought me down, I had sacrificed for the Church, I had submitted to the rules, I had suffered at the hands of my husband, I had lived the gospel fully, completely to paranoia in which I was afraid of anything that would offend God, I tried my utmost to be guided continuously by righteous thoughts and actions, and teach my children good principles, despite their father.
My crime:- receiving revelation to accept the marriage proposal of a temple worker who the temple people considered wrong in asking me. They took over, they separated us. They manipulated the guy so as to never talk to me again. Why? Because he was a virgin younger than me, and I an older woman with seven children. They considered it wrong. They did not consult God, and the treatment I received from that moment was and has proved the discovery of the ugly truth ... the church is not led of God, it is a business corporation trying to fake looking good in the eyes of the world. How do I know? I know because I was given a witness to marry this guy, I prayed that exact day for a new husband to take care of me and my children, and he came into my life that very day and proposed to me, and my children accepted him straight away and the bond grew between them and him, I said no to begin with as I didn't believe in age differences, but he would ask me every day, and one day my eldest son asked me to pray about the proposal and so I did... and the Holy Ghost burned in my heart for three days solid. I had never had such a witness! And my youngest daughter aged then 7, told me she wanted him as her daddy. I was blessed! God had blessed me.
But it was not to be, the week I accepted his proposal, 'the heavies' descended. We were banned from talking to each other for a period of six months as they believed he was making a mistake, and during that six months they poisoned his mind against me and my children and I heard from others that he was put on medication from losing his mind over it. This being caused by 'God's leaders' preventing God's will being done! I asked for help from my leaders, I was condemned by my Bishop, when I asked him to begin our interview with a prayer! I was condemned also as being manipulating and controlling when I asked my Stake president also for help, requesting him to begin an interview meeting with prayer! They both said they did not need to pray as they were men of God ... God was with them, they had the priesthood and calling of God ...
I went to the Temple president for help, I was a worthy latterday saint and temple recommend holder, and a friend working in the Temple had requested my help in the kitchens, I asked if I could help... I entered the Temple and spoke to the people in charge of temple workers ... they knew me, and were happy to have me help, until they were told to turn me down once the Temple President heard about it. My crime? no crime, they didn't want the temple worker that proposed to me to be reminded of his love for me, and so I was banned from helping out voluntarily in the Temple, even though worthy.
I couldn't take much more sorrow, after thinking God had provided me with a release from my sufferings in marriage, and provided me with a new husband .... I begged the Temple President to be empathetic to me and my situation and this is what he said 'You are a very sick woman' ...... wow! the words of a holy temple president! I ripped up my recommend in front of him and left church.
God's church doesn't act in this way, Jesus Christ is compassionate, long suffering, kind, gentle, I followed the scripture of the woman entreating the master.... I followed the scriptures in all my efforts, I had obeyed protocol of the church and had done nothing wrong except accept a proposal from a young man who worked as a gardener.
The pain led me to earnestly seek God even more, requesting from him how his mouth pieces could act in such a way ... I had not included the countless insults I received and the neglect and treatment I was given as I do not want to dwell on it. All I can say is that there is truth, there is goodness and there is priesthood power, and miracles, and the Holy Ghost is with God's people ..... if you love God, and live by him, you have his Spirit to be with you, and I have discovered that it is the pure, humble in heart that truly have his spirit and the ones in leadership are often led of themselves, prideful wanting dominance, and wanting to please outwardly but not in tune with the Holy Spirit because no man of God led by the Holy Spirit, could do what has been done to me and my family.
So, in my search to find out why this had happened ... I researched. I found and peace has come to me in a sense, although the True Church is not The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but the people in it, and people all over the world can follow the goodness of their heart can be led by the spirit of God. So blessings and patriarchal blessings given by the pure in heart and received by the pure in heart are sealed by God, and all good words spoken by good people are sealed by God, and any good that is taught, and spread, is sealed by God and witnessed by the Holy Ghost. But all lies, deceit, wrong doing, falsehood, evil, will be revealed.... no matter who, and what worldly position they hold. God will not be mocked, his sheep will not be left alone, we are not left alone, even though priesthood may be corrupt and leaders corrupt, if we live the commandments, the Holy Ghost will be our guide and lead us to all truth.
Sorry this is so long, but I guess you would have stopped reading along way up if you were bored, but I had to get it off my chest, although I could write several books of what has actually happened in my life. But I believe in goodness. I believe in God, and I was given what I was looking for ... truth!
My observation:- Don't follow blindly the words of man, whoever he maybe... I am not asking you to believe any thing I say, but I do ask you to pray about anything that ever niggles you. I have heard the expression that goodness and truth is of good and feels good, makes you feel at peace, makes you feel happy and joyous, if there is any teaching that makes you feel cold, sick, worried, after praying, consider it not God's will. If it is God's will, he will make a way for you to feel good about whatever he expects you to do. The Holy Ghost is manifest by a warmth in your heart as well as a peace in your mind, stillness with peace can also be an answer.
If like me, you are not ready yet, it may take several years, then you will not receive an answer, but feel that the answer will come.
Good luck. I believe in the return of Jesus Christ, I believe in miracles, I believe in The Book of Mormon, I believe that Joseph Smith was a good man, a prophet of God, that his wife too was a good woman, and their children, I believe they are all rewarded for the sacrifice they made, and that all lies taught about them will be revealed, and all evil will be revealed... all wolves in sheeps clothing revealed.
I believe in the gathering together of the saints, I believe all those that will not fight, must flee, I believe God will provide a way of escape as he did for me, as he did in the days of Alma, and the days of Moses, he provides direction and guidance for those that truly seek him and are striving to be good people.
Good means trying to be kind to all people, trying to be forgiving, trying to overcome greed, lust, temptation, trying to stand up and do what is right, ie not to lie, cheat, steal, harm, be dishonest etc etc .... to be christlike is to be true, to be purehearted, with no deceit or ulterior motives ... to help others, and not judge, to love without condemnation ..... let your heart have feeling. Let your heart give people a chance. Do not fall for face value niceness, check the genuineness of people, discern those that are helping you and those that are using you.
Peace be with you,
let us spread peace, let us stand up for truth, let us help each other!
For the sake of humanity, and the sake of Jesus Christ and his suffering for us, let us build up the kingdom and be counted as on God's side.
With love,
Sister Yolanda Goddard
England
Tuesday, 9 April 2013
BARE RECORD OF TRUTH: 162: THE LOSS OF THE PRESIDING PATRIARCH TO THE C...
BARE RECORD OF TRUTH: 162: THE LOSS OF THE PRESIDING PATRIARCH TO THE C...: Eldred G. Smith, who served for 32 years as Mormonism’s "presiding patriarch," died Thursday evening in Salt Lake City. At 106, Sm...
Monday, 8 April 2013
Young Mother's Poetry
Joy of Poetry (12 Oct 1994) A Mother's Plea (13 Oct 1994)
Baby Sarah (12th October 1994) Thankful for a Blessing (12 Oct 1994)
Sarah stood today, Thank you Father for a blessing,
for the count of Thou are so wonderful and wise,
thirty-seven. In this time of Trouble and Unease,
Aged not even seven and half months old! To bless me with this Surprise!
What an amazing baby miracle!! To uplift and please,
Releasing me and unstressing
Sarah stood today, Me, Thou art wonderful!!
For the count of And have me me full!
thirty-seven.
First it was eleven, then
twenty-two, Prose expression (12 Oct 1994)
then thirty-seven!!
I held her sides, and then Suddenly I am able
let go, to write and express
lovingly encouraging her, my feelings and views ...
I clicked my fingers to the count
and she stood I knew I could, but did
for thirty-seven! not think
it was now, I could!!
Sarah stood today,
for the count of thirty-seven, I thought it was future;
she laughed, she smiled, I thought poetry
in happy ecstasy, was meant to rhyme ...
Mummy was watching,
and Daddy too, But no! Poetry is
but the hour was past nine pm the words that flow
and Brad and Becka were from the heart -
sound asleep, music in words -
so didn't get to peep Sarah poetry and prose!!
standing, for the count of
thirty-seven!!...
What an amazing baby miracle!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Becka (12th Oct 1994) cont.
I had a scare, I had a scare
I did not enjoy, I did not know what to do,
it broke my heart I rang 999
and made me think, I needed instant help,
It made me realise a friendly voice calmed
how short life can be, me down, and hushed me,
and how precious she dealt with my
our dear little ones are. call,
then suddenly a sob,
I had a scare, a rasp, a cry!!
it saddened me, A breath! A breath!
For days I was my Rebekah was alive
in a twirl, What fear had held my heart!
confused and thinking,
pondering the meaning I had a scare,
of my sudden fear. but now relieved,
All is well,
I had a scare, I held her tight and
my beautiful Becka hushed her cries,
had a fall, she clung to me
she fell and banged as her colour returned.
her head, She was right as rain
it was not far, it within the hour.
was not hard,
the distance she fell, I had a scare,
and the fall she had, it did me good,
but it caught her it made me think,
breath it made me seek
and she could not breathe! for answers and
understanding.
I had a scare It took me awhile
my Becka went blue, to recover,
her eyes rolled, but brought me closer
her body went limp. to understanding that
I banged her back, no matter what disaster
not just once, but a few, happens in our life,
it did not help, or what fear,
She did not breath... we need to trust,
the room went grey, and hold dear
time stood still. Our Heavenly Father.
I had a scare I had a scare,
I thought I would lose it taught me to
her, prepare,
my beautiful Becka, I am the angel
my sweet Princess, chosen to care
I was lost for the sweet
was this it? children I bear,
Was this how she To watch over
would go? them and keep
My mind said no! them safe,
NO! NO! NO! to do all I can,
I held my Rebekah to do my part,
and carried her in my arms .. til they return
to the heaven I
yearn.
First Aid I'll learn
and in turn,
be in control
and fulfil my
role
as parent, teacher
and saver of
life and soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the Garden (13 Oct 1994)
In the garden, Sarah is sat
Brad is playing, upon my lap,
riding watching,
his Big Tractor, listening,
Becka chasing taking it all in.
behind.
What a beautiful
The air is warm, Day!
the grass is a lively A Day outside,
green. A day with a
The sky is clear, Change ... just
a beautiful from being outside!!
pastel blue, with
wispy bits of almost So peaceful, So
invisible cloud. Restful,
no worries,
The sun is warm no fears,
and friendly, no fighting,
gentle on the eyes, no screaming,
gentle on the skin. no telephone ringing,
The time is almost 2pm. How Wonderful
There is a slight gentle God is!!
breeze,
it is peaceful.
No view of cars, The Plan of Salvation (no date)
no sight of smoke,
or people, It is not a Fable, a yarn or a tale,
just us in the There truely is a plan -
Garden a plan of Salvation -
overlooking the fields. an explanation,
an understanding of life -
No need for a coat,
no need for a hat, Life pre-existent, life hereafter and
just shoes and life itself.
an eye to view, We didn't just appear on earth,
and lungs to breath to live and die,
in the warm fresh air, to never again exist ....
and ears to hear the song
of birds, We came from a Heavenly Father -
and the bleating of We lived with Him before we were born
Sheep in some into this world.
far field. We saw the earth created,
and with Job, we were the stars
in heaven which shouted for joy
at our Heavenly Father's plan ...
A plan for us, for our growth!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(C) Yolanda Goddard (1994 - 2014)
Wow!! What more can I say? Please be good my children,
I can't wait til another day Only Sweetness
That I can write Do Today,
The feelings of my heart It does not thrill me,
On subjects I love, Only chills me,
Of thoughts of Above When you disobey!
And things around me:
Temporal, spiritual,
Heavenly and Earthly,
On Scripture and Family,
Good books and Genealogy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Past Midnight (12 Oct 1994) Mother in despair (13 Oct 1994)
The time is past midnight, Disobedient, naughty,
And I must go to sleep Defiant, out of control,
And in my delight, Out of order,
Dream that I might Disorder
My new blessing keep, Today
And reap and reap! Earache, tired eyes,
Exasperation and
Frustration ....
#___ ___ ___
(#child's name repeated)
(#child's name repeated)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhyming (13 Oct 1994) Faith (13 Oct 1994)
Rhyming I love my Saviour
Chiming I could not quaver
Divining - From declaring his name.
Words miming
Actions, To deny faith in Him
Portraying I could never do,
Conveying - I hope and pray I'm true.
Exacting
Extracting!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Sarah (12th October 1994) Thankful for a Blessing (12 Oct 1994)
Sarah stood today, Thank you Father for a blessing,
for the count of Thou are so wonderful and wise,
thirty-seven. In this time of Trouble and Unease,
Aged not even seven and half months old! To bless me with this Surprise!
What an amazing baby miracle!! To uplift and please,
Releasing me and unstressing
Sarah stood today, Me, Thou art wonderful!!
For the count of And have me me full!
thirty-seven.
First it was eleven, then
twenty-two, Prose expression (12 Oct 1994)
then thirty-seven!!
I held her sides, and then Suddenly I am able
let go, to write and express
lovingly encouraging her, my feelings and views ...
I clicked my fingers to the count
and she stood I knew I could, but did
for thirty-seven! not think
it was now, I could!!
Sarah stood today,
for the count of thirty-seven, I thought it was future;
she laughed, she smiled, I thought poetry
in happy ecstasy, was meant to rhyme ...
Mummy was watching,
and Daddy too, But no! Poetry is
but the hour was past nine pm the words that flow
and Brad and Becka were from the heart -
sound asleep, music in words -
so didn't get to peep Sarah poetry and prose!!
standing, for the count of
thirty-seven!!...
What an amazing baby miracle!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Becka (12th Oct 1994) cont.
I had a scare, I had a scare
I did not enjoy, I did not know what to do,
it broke my heart I rang 999
and made me think, I needed instant help,
It made me realise a friendly voice calmed
how short life can be, me down, and hushed me,
and how precious she dealt with my
our dear little ones are. call,
then suddenly a sob,
I had a scare, a rasp, a cry!!
it saddened me, A breath! A breath!
For days I was my Rebekah was alive
in a twirl, What fear had held my heart!
confused and thinking,
pondering the meaning I had a scare,
of my sudden fear. but now relieved,
All is well,
I had a scare, I held her tight and
my beautiful Becka hushed her cries,
had a fall, she clung to me
she fell and banged as her colour returned.
her head, She was right as rain
it was not far, it within the hour.
was not hard,
the distance she fell, I had a scare,
and the fall she had, it did me good,
but it caught her it made me think,
breath it made me seek
and she could not breathe! for answers and
understanding.
I had a scare It took me awhile
my Becka went blue, to recover,
her eyes rolled, but brought me closer
her body went limp. to understanding that
I banged her back, no matter what disaster
not just once, but a few, happens in our life,
it did not help, or what fear,
She did not breath... we need to trust,
the room went grey, and hold dear
time stood still. Our Heavenly Father.
I had a scare I had a scare,
I thought I would lose it taught me to
her, prepare,
my beautiful Becka, I am the angel
my sweet Princess, chosen to care
I was lost for the sweet
was this it? children I bear,
Was this how she To watch over
would go? them and keep
My mind said no! them safe,
NO! NO! NO! to do all I can,
I held my Rebekah to do my part,
and carried her in my arms .. til they return
to the heaven I
yearn.
First Aid I'll learn
and in turn,
be in control
and fulfil my
role
as parent, teacher
and saver of
life and soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the Garden (13 Oct 1994)
In the garden, Sarah is sat
Brad is playing, upon my lap,
riding watching,
his Big Tractor, listening,
Becka chasing taking it all in.
behind.
What a beautiful
The air is warm, Day!
the grass is a lively A Day outside,
green. A day with a
The sky is clear, Change ... just
a beautiful from being outside!!
pastel blue, with
wispy bits of almost So peaceful, So
invisible cloud. Restful,
no worries,
The sun is warm no fears,
and friendly, no fighting,
gentle on the eyes, no screaming,
gentle on the skin. no telephone ringing,
The time is almost 2pm. How Wonderful
There is a slight gentle God is!!
breeze,
it is peaceful.
No view of cars, The Plan of Salvation (no date)
no sight of smoke,
or people, It is not a Fable, a yarn or a tale,
just us in the There truely is a plan -
Garden a plan of Salvation -
overlooking the fields. an explanation,
an understanding of life -
No need for a coat,
no need for a hat, Life pre-existent, life hereafter and
just shoes and life itself.
an eye to view, We didn't just appear on earth,
and lungs to breath to live and die,
in the warm fresh air, to never again exist ....
and ears to hear the song
of birds, We came from a Heavenly Father -
and the bleating of We lived with Him before we were born
Sheep in some into this world.
far field. We saw the earth created,
and with Job, we were the stars
in heaven which shouted for joy
at our Heavenly Father's plan ...
A plan for us, for our growth!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(C) Yolanda Goddard (1994 - 2014)
Sunday, 18 November 2012
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